It had been twenty years ago that the grizzly old Chief Petty Officer sitting at the old pinewood bar had hung up his uniform. Upon his retirement he decided to let his beard grow out. His beard lay in great gray curls; the curls flowed down his chin covering his neck and rested on his chest. His forearms were covered with the old-fashioned tattoos of the orient. His gray, almost white hair was still kept short as he had kept it for his entire career.
Today, he found himself sitting alone at the CPO Club. But the day was still young. The long cold winter had ended, and the days were becoming warmer. Maybe a few of the other retirees would show up later today, he was thinking.
As he sat, drinking his beer and smoking his cigar he wondered aloud, “What had happened to the old days, a Saturday afternoon and no one here except me and the bar tender”. As Junior, the bar tender, set a fresh coaster and another beer down on the bar for Wild Bill a few of the other regulars came through the door. Wild Bill looked up from his beer and greeted his friends. “How the hell y’all doin’ this fine Navy/Marine Corps day”, the old retired Chief would always say with his deep gravelly voice that sounded like sandpaper on wood. “Oh, hell we’re fine Wild Bill, how ‘bout you. I bet yur gonna tell us another famous bullshit story”, one of the regulars would always say.
Wild Bill would begin his tales with the same old line…” now this is no shit”…at hearing this, the crowd that had gathered round would gaze at the ceiling as if to ask the Big E-9 in the sky, “please let this not be the same Seaman Gershnortz story we heard last Saturday”.
Wild Bill surprised us today with a new sea story.
“This is no shit; I was makin’ my rounds on deck one day…ya see”. “It was a hot-n-humid day, one of them days when ya could fry an egg on deck. I had the rigging crew slushing the running rigging on one of the replenishment at sea rigs. It was one of those days when the wire rope grease rained down on the men as if they were in the middle of, a-cow-pissin-on-a-flat-rock, type rain squall”.
On deck I heard some laughter. “Now what in the fuck is going on, I sez”, I then asked one of the Third-Class Petty Officers, “what’s so damn funny out here”?
“Well Chief, ya see Seaman Clem up there on that Bos’n chair”, said one of the Third-Class Petty Officers.” Yah, I see him, so what”. Seaman Clem sat on a Bos’n chair attached to the main hook wire on the underside of the boom. This was so he could apply wire rope grease to the wire while he sat in the Bos’n chair and slid down the wire on a trolley. The old retired Boatswain’s Mate Chief continues while making wild hand gestures as only he could do, “Clem had a #10 can full of water with him, a can of wire rope grease, and a #10 can of PD680 to clean the wire rope before applying the new grease. Apparently Seaman Clem, in his haste to get the job done before liberty call hurried down on deck, forgot which can held the water and which can held the PD680. The liquids are both clear ya see. Seaman Clem had the most distraught look on his face after taking a drink…” I started laughing so damn hard that I almost lost my false teeth over the side! Damn near dropped my coffee cup”. The LPO came over to see what was going on…I told him in my most Chiefly manner, “boats, get Clem in to see Doc and I’ll be at the CPO Club…let me know how Clem is doin’ later”.
Wild Bill then took a hearty gulp from his bottle of beer and said…”by damn that really happened…no shit, thought I was gonna have to write a letter to his Mamma!
Thus, another great story from the one and only Chief Wild Bill.
